Candy CornPosted: October 17, 2012
I know I am not the only parent in America that totally stresses about their toddlers eating habits. Every day I ask myself the same questions and all roads lead me to feeling completely stressed out and overwhelmed regarding toddler meal planning.
My daily inner-monologue starts with convincing myself that Caden is probably not getting the right daily nutritional intake. I convince myself that the lack of green and orange foods on his dinner plate will certainly lead to stunting his physical and mental growth. This will most definitely mean that he will be behind his peers in kindergarten and while other children are quoting poems written by Edgar Allan Poe, Caden will simply be reciting his ABC’s. Surely this fact will be discussed ad nauseam by those crazy PTA ladies, but not until after they have condemned me for being a working mother. Once he falls behind in kindergarten, we can assume he won’t be attending Harvard and while a smirk appears on my face (we can’t afford Harvard!), I am quick to realize that this should not be making me smile. His lack of proper nutrition at 18 months will most likely mean that he will be attending a state school and while our savings account is cool with that, it probably also means that after college he will be moving back into our house. By the time he moves back home I would have already redecorated his room and if he thinks that I am getting rid of the craft table I have dreamt about for 20 years, he is very wrong! We will allow him to move into the basement and I will quickly regret that decision, because now we have made it too comfortable for him and he probably will never leave and if he assumes, for one minute, that I will be doing his laundry he is sorely mistaken. What does he think I am, his maid?!
So….after this inner-monologue takes place, I am now even more stressed about what we are feeding the Funny. What I have determined these past few weeks is that candy corn is not considered an actual vegetable. I have confirmed this with multiple sources.